"I don't really feel like talking much now."
"I'm sorry, okay! I really am."
"Well, I feel hurt."
I am so terrible. I wanted to say "I'm sorry" a million times over, but what good would it have done. I'm sorry I'm so selfish. I'm sorry that even with the distance, I still manage to take you for granted. I'm sorry we barely have the time to talk. I'm sorry that I don't put in the same effort as you into making this fucking relationship work. I'm sorry for the way I am. But what are a million little sorry's going to do? They don't leave anything but the short whistling sting in my mouth. I cannot give you anything but these stupid apologies that sound like they've got no real substance to them, when inside of me I am really screaming and crying and begging for you to forgive me. I can't even be there to show you how genuinely sorry I am, and how terrible I feel. I think I was meant to be alone today. When I'm alone, I won't hurt you. When I'm alone, I won't feel hurt.
mkp.
