Flowers Never Bend With the Rainfall.

Tomorrow, I start my first semester as a college sophomore.

I remember how I felt this time last year. I was anxious, and scared, and nervous. I stressed over making friends, getting myself good professors, finding the time to spend with my girlfriend. And really, there was nothing that needed to afraid of. Of course, the stress and time-complications were utterly inevitable, but eventually I found a way to work around it. Made some new friends, and then lost some. Had to balance schoolwork with the shit going on back at home. And overcame math and speech. This time around, I'm a lot more confident. Now, it's just some other thing on my schedule. I don't think its going to be all that easy either. I'm prepared for a hectic, stressful, cryallnightbecauseihaven'tevenstartedthetenpagepaper semester.

So, looking back at my summer, I'm trying to figure out if I really spent it all that well. For the most part, I think I did. Figured out who my true friends were. Rekindled distant friendships with some people I had lost touch with. Regrettably, I've also lost touch with some people. I don't want to say it was purposely my fault, but it somewhat was. I'm... tired of all that. I feel bored with things; like I'm just waiting to move on. It's not that I don't care about you; I'm completely serious that I always will. I'm just growing up, I guess. Also, I finally had the time to refocus on my artwork. Oh, and I am leading September Kairos. Yeah, I think that I'm pretty satisfied with my summer.




mkp.

Konstant.

I woke up this morning in my own bed. I was hugging my pillow, imagining we were still adhered together, like the night before. I pretended I could kiss your forehead, greeting you to a bright, early morning. Confused, you'd fall back asleep because it would only be 9 or 10. I always wake up too early. But I don't mind laying with you while you sleep on my shoulder, waiting for time to pass, and for it to reach early afternoon.

Right now, love feels light. Light, but constant. Steady.
There are times when it's explosive. When it is desperately urgent. When it is annoyingly protective. And at times, even helpless.

The only constant thing about love is how unpredictable it is. And if I've learned anything about us by now, its that this flowery feeling won't last all that long. We will fight, make-up, cry, fuck, laugh, kiss, yell, tease, push away, reconcile, make love, trust, doubt, hold back, forgive, and move along. And believe it or not, this chaotic instability is indeed the stability I've always craved and longed for. Even if at times, I want to punch you in the face.

And since love is still weightless, I'll just put that out there.
I miss you, love. I always miss you.




mkp.