Response to "Drawing Black P."

First and foremost, I regret that I find myself here right now, typing away on this computer, a response to someone who is a definite assessment unworthy of my time. The entry discussed in this response was brought to my attention by a friend. The only purpose this serves is to set things straight and to clear things up, before I am perceived as someone who I am not. My intentions are not to embarrass, be-little, or “shit-talk” you, so don’t identify my words as offensive. I’m just here to tell it like it is.

P1. Everyone “shit-talks”. And I would have gladly done so in your face, but was instructed not to do so. Fear was never an issue.

P2. Everyone has their own opinions on what is pretty, beautiful, etc. And it’s fine that you don’t think of me in those terms. Likewise.

P3. I’m not jealous of you, trust me.

P4. If someone were to ask me to describe myself in six words, “sweet, polite, understanding, nice, thoughtful, and happy” wouldn’t even be the first ones to come to mind. So, no offense there.

P5. Though I consider myself the “black sheep” of my family, I never considered myself as “suicidal”; in fact, far from. And last time I checked, your family isn’t perfect either.

P6. “Puffs n’ passes, sniffs, pills, and needles”? Those all pertain to a subject that should never be spoken of lightly or mockingly. It is a foolish act, considering how little you know of me. It is also highly offensive to several people.

P8. Likewise. Except I don’t say anything unless it is purely the truth.

P11. I’m sure that there aren’t any photos of my vagina online, or moreover “bending over at a party”. So before you make a claim such as this, you should first make sure that there is substantial proof. Otherwise, you’re just a liar.

P13. I’m not obsessed with you. Last time I checked, I was not regularly reading my ex-girlfriend’s current girlfriend’s blog, nor compulsively prying into their current relationship. I also did not write a terribly-written rant/poem in free-verse about how much I hate the new girlfriend.

P18. Thanks for your observation concerning my body. Like I haven’t heard any of those before. I never knew that you were so satisfied with yours.

P19. “What comes around goes around”. I agree.

P21. It’s one thing to (attempt to) violate me, but its entirely different to do so with a friend I’ve known for 11 years. I will not and will never “suck his dick”, even if that was “what I’m good for”. Also, he never “fucked me over literally and emotionally”. He's only been a great friend.

Once again, it’s stupid to spread lies that are false. If you intend on trying to humiliate me, I suggest you do so with the TRUTH.




mkp.

If Things Start Splitting at the Seams

It's one of the worst situations in the world when you and the person you care about the most are among rocky paths. And though I am certain that we will, in time, surpass this ordeal, every second that we share in complete and utter silence just kills me.

Let's please fix this now.

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mkp.

Healing.

Leo Mari Pascual. 1983-2003. Rest in Peace.

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"Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,

And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;

And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird

That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,

And on the strangest sea;

Yet, never, in extremity,

It asked a crumb of me. "

-Emily Dickinson

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mkp.

Fall '09.

So far the first two days of school have been overwhelming. Overwhelming as in "why are the lines so long", "why are all the buildings so far apart", "why are art supplies so fucking expensive", overwhelming. And I have to yet to buy by textbooks.
As for the teachers, I've got a scatter-minded loudmouth, a sardonic type with the extensive vocabulary, the Asian woman who is completely incomprehensible, and the old/dull/boring art teacher. And I'm tired from walking this entire day. I walked across campus several times, down some strange path, looked for smooth rocks for my 3D-design project, all the way to my friend's dorm room, back to the campus, and all over the place seeking for some goddamn 22 galvanized steel wire and inexpensive non-gloss 18"x24" paper, both of which I was unable to find.
But with all that said, college seems okay so far. Though I forgot how to study, and now have to teach myself how to, I prefer it already to the pathetic excuse I was given for a high school. Now I just need to make some money.




mkp.

Intimately

This Marie Claire editorial featuring Ashley Olsen was so refreshing and pretty, amidst all the dark, heavy, and grungy pieces expected for autumn. This romantic, light and airy, antique/lingerie feeling looks so beautiful! Very 1930's. And though it isn't all that practical (or appropriate) for the colder weather, I feel inspired already.

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mkp.

Summer.

So, I didn't get around to accomplishing my list of summer-things-to-do. Still no job, no licence. A lot of wasted money that I probably should have saved for school supplies, spent on thrifting and vintage finds, new books, birthday presents, sushi dinners, and coffee. And I wake up feeling like, in some sense, a majority of these days were wasted on locking myself inside a good book or by playing stupid addicting computer games on my laptop. But in spite of all this, the time was time well-spent. I've learned to make time for my family while holding on to my close friends. I've been doing a whole lot of writing and painting again. I've spent a lot of time with the girl I love. This is my last summer before I go to college.

And after today, I've got 8 days left.



mkp.

Stuffed.

Tonight was Marian's 18th dinner party thing at Khun Dang.

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You'd think (with the obscene amount of beef there) that my No-Red-Meat Policy would allow me to only eat enough to feel decently full. But I could have really just drank my weight in Thai Iced Tea and coffee. ...and sweet delicious black balls. Erm, I mean boba.
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I feel sick and tired and I want to sleep or something but am too awake to do so. I figure that I'll use this time to paint for a little bit, maybe?

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Too. Much. But sooo goood.

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mkp.