Wired!

Two supplements to my everyday routine are 1.) coffee, and 2.) cigarettes.

But since tonight calls for extensive studying, research essay prompts, and the usual bulk of art projects, I decide to double (or perhaps even triple) the amount of coffee consumption and cigarette indulgence. But instead of feeling focused and rejuvenated, I am jittery, hyper, and far too distracted to do any work! The only thing I seem to be concentrated on right now is what Crys and I should be for Halloween, with very minimal money and time to put it all together!

The only thing that will put an end to this truly inconvenient state is the terrible, tiring crash. And possibly even an upset stomach.

Oh, and I love pumpkin-spice cupcakes and my girlfriend. But I absolutely hatehatehate the wind.




mkp.

From the passenger seat,

as you are driving me home.
With my feet on the dash, the world doesn't matter.

Its always been those stars.
I swear that when our bodies are directed beneath their brilliance, we forget about everything else. Because just about everything in the world feels right. And with barely minutes nearing the end of the 22nd, your question propelled me back to the start.
And the only response that I could utter was "yes".

When you feel embarrassed, then I'll be your pride.
When you need directions, then I'll be the guide. For all time.




mkp.

Don't You Let Me Go Tonight.

I was in no way prepared for anything you said to me tonight.
But if you're absolutely sure about it, then I'm sure, too.
And if you're ready, then I'm ready for what comes next.

Tomorrow. 5:00 pm. That will decide everything.
My heart is beating so fast as I type away, I can barely contain it.




mkp.

Feel Like a Kid Again.

Yesterday, I went to go see Spike Jonze's adaption of Where the Wild Things Are. I had been anxiously awaiting this film for a long, long time already. And it was a stunning film; that of great quality cinematography, and an equally enchanting musical score by Karen O. Beautiful and dreamlike. But I left the theatre feeling a bit sad and lonely. It might have been the overwhelming amount of rude preteen chattering throughout the entirety of the film, or possibly even my attachment to Maurice Sendak’s book that I kept gravitating towards, but I felt downright miserable at some points of the movie. The emotional depth was definitely something I wasn’t prepared for, and with that being said, this is NOT a film for children 10 and under. Where the Wild Things Are exposed the heartbreaking end of childhood innocence, but it also celebrated its eternal essence lingering within each of us at the same time. Some childishness has definitely been reignited in my jaded and stressed eighteen-year old body.

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And it is really quite beautiful.

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mkp.

I Feel it in My Bones.

I hate this feeling. This divided feeling to both surrender and keep fighting. To keep fighting for what I want, maybe for even what I need. Because I feel that maybe, somehow, it will all be worth it. Sure, there is a part of me that surely wants to call it off. But the greater half want to keep plunging through. This situation is far too complicated, that I can't even untangle what I feel from what matters most. I guess I just don't know what the right thing is to do.

But what I do know is that I'm not the only one going through this. That there is someone who I can directly relate to. And that our friendship has definitely been strengthened through our similar situations. And it's a relief to know that you've got my back and I've got yours.




mkp.

My Poor, Severed Hand.

My sad index finger. Sliced and cut and pricked and punctured.

It is a small price to pay for a guaranteed passing grade on this project. I'm (finally) proud to say that (finally) the first half of this endeavor is (FINALLY) complete! NO MORE FATAL CARDBOARD CONSTRUCTING. Now, I just need to go over all the planes with the wire. This process doesn't require as much labor (or blood lost), but it is still just as dangerous. And time-consuming. Wire is sharp. A little piece got away and jumped at me just as I cut it, and now there is a scratch on my cheekbone. Soon enough, my face will match my hands!

I'm afraid that shortly after this semester, I will develop an irrational fear/disdain towards cardboard, fences, x-acto knives, and Spongebob band-aids. Or anything that merely even mentions the words: "three-dimensional", for that matter.

Fuck it. I want to learn sign language.




mkp.

"How can you not laugh at that!"

Kelsey's right.

You know that noise of really, really laughing? It truly is the most beautiful noise ever. It is the noise that perfectly encapsulates what it means to live. It adds purpose to living and being happy in world undergoing sadder times. But my favorite thing about really, really laughing is when laughter feeds off of another's - creating an endless chain of laughing-induced euphoria. And luckily for me, that is what happens every single time I hang out with Tiff, Kels, and Crys. But mostly Tiff. That girl be crazy. Ditching class yesterday was totally worth it... even though I now have piles of work to complete if I want to make it on Saturday. But in turn, I got to spend time with some of my favorite people.

Oh, and I'm really sorry again for laughing at you that time you fell.

But it was fucking funny.




mkp.

Start Again.

October is going to be a very busy month for me!

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mkp.