Honestly

So, last night, as I'm driving home from my girlfriend's house, I realize that I'm alright. And everything will be fine. I'll keep myself busy, keep looking forward, and enjoy the rest of what summer has to offer. And if shit happens, they'll happen. But as for now, I'm moving on.




mkp.

Dissolved Girl.

I'm fading away. I feel like I don't know myself anymore. I doubt everything I do, and I can't bring myself to complete anything I start. I stare at a book for an hour, without turning the page. I get in the car, and forget where I'm going. I bring a pencil to the paper, and nothing comes out. Everything is a lost cause. Worst of all, I'm beginning to think I don't know you as well as I used to.

I'm not all that happy.




mkp.

Up the Stairs.

I'm having those dreams again.
The ones where the past feels real, where faces are known, rather than familiar, and where those who are gone are still very much alive.
I dream about the four of us. Especially her.
But her face is still hazy in my dreams.
I cannot remember how exactly she looks like.
She is fading away; dissolving.
I wake up, and she is gone.
It's been six years since I spoke to her.
I am too late.




mkp.

I'm mad. You're mad.

I made a tumblr, recently. To be honest, its not the same as using this. I like reblogging and following people and all that, but for some reason, I have nothing to say when I'm on tumblr. I can't seem to pull out the words, and writing seems difficult. Maybe I'm just more used to this one since I've had it for so long?

Anyway, I'm so busy lately (or sick!). I'm sorry everyone, for being such a shut-in. Tomorrow happens to be my mother's birthday. The day after that, is my aunt's. She and her son and husband are coming to stay with us tomorrow. We're going to the beach, and maybe even Disneyland this week/end. To be rather frank, I'm sick of all these family hang outs.

Oh, and I fought with her today. And I hate myself so much when I do.




mkp.