Cupcake Corner.

This is one of the billions of reasons why I refused to make a facebook. Obviously (and regrettably), something gave in, and now I spend any free time I have playing this stupid game. Who cares if I have another paper due Thursday and I'm missing my computer graphics class right now, the sugar cookies are in need of frosting!

Anyway, since I'm waiting for my cupcakes to finish baking, I'll write up about last week. Kairos 106 was so worth all the assignments I missed. I'm seriously considering leading 2-3 more this year, if school permits. Anyway, there's something entirely new about the retreat when you're no longer one of the candidates, and you're leading instead. You witness something so beautiful that occurs within a short 3 days.. And though I was the leader, I am definitely the one who learned from everyone else. If any of you are still reading this thing, even if you don't what it means, Thank you; I love you; I am sorry. And to the members of Group 4: LOVE MAH GROUP!

I love her. I really do.




mkp.

Almost Here.

Things at home have been... intense, to say the least.

I'm really glad to be leading this Kairos. I remember my Kairos so vividly. 94: the new friendships I made, the relationships I strengthened; The unconditional love I felt every single day that was indeed, very real. And I'm very excited, though I do feel kind of guilty because I partly just want to lead so I can get away from all this at home. Maybe it will grant me some peace when I come back? Maybe eradicate some of the bad thoughts I keep playing over in my head? Bring me closure. Inspire me. Make me feel something.

I haven't started packing yet. There's so much to do in such little time.




mkp.

Amelia

I know I fucked up. I always do.
And regrettably, I make you pay for my mistakes.
I don't want you to. I never want you to.
But I have no means of covering for it, myself.
I'm sorry, I mean it. You think I could care less.
You think I'm unaware of how much it will cost you.
But I fucking swear, I'll make it up to you one day.
One day, you'll see that I can, in fact, do something right.

I am the embodiment of the very things you despise, yet you still tell me you love me. I hope you're not lying. Because no matter how much of a fuck-up I am, or how much my choices and decisions pain you, I only wish to make you feel proud of me. I never meant to do those things to you, and I never wanted any of this to happen. I love you, even if it appears that I hate you. Even though all we do is fight and yell and scream at each other, I always wish you would hug me, and we could just cry it out and apologize and move on.


Believe me, I feel fucking terrible.




mkp.