Close to me.

I am so happy!
This week has so far been almost entirely great, and this kind of consistency definitely calls for some recognition.

-4.20 / 4.22.
-Creating.
-Overcoming a severe case of writer's block.
-Starting a new painting.
-Being asked/asking out.
-Mushy-ness.
-Listening to a mix cd for the first time.
-My stuffed monkey.
-Your sweater.
-Long phone calls that protrude well into the morning.
-Being completely honest.
-Writing letters.
-Not really doing work for school.
-The art show.
-Receiving some recognition.
-Long naps.
-Spending time with family.
-Sushi.
-Adventures.
-Spontaneity.
-Hanging out with good friends.
-Musicals.
-Blasting Michelle Branch in the car on the way home.
-Serious Conversations.
-Sincerity.

I hope that tomorrow's events will continue to brighten up the remainder of this school year. I'm beginning to realize that I actually will miss all this.




mkp.

-----

4.20.09.
"Besides maybe this time, its different
I mean I really think you like me."




mkp.

Wata wata wata

[click to view detail. plz.]

-

14 x 18, acrylic on panel.

-

Today is the last day of break. I'm really dreading going back to school tomorrow. Not only is the weather beginning to get intolerable, but Monday = running 8 laps around the gym. And frankly, both my mind and body have already gotten used to hanging out with friends everyday, painting everynight, and not doing any type of studying whatsoever. I honestly feel like I have already graduated, and I somewhat wish I did. I'm sick of high school.

-

However, I am excited for the art show. I've submitted a lot of pieces, and this painting (as well as the Conor Oberst portrait) will join as well.

-

-

You're coming home today. I can't wait to see you!

-

-

-

-

mkp.

Conor Oberst.

[please click to enlarge and view detail!]

16 x 20, oil on panel.
Never again.

Tomorrow, I will be confined in a room and enslaved by CSUN. English and Math placement exams for four-and-a-half lovely hours. While you'll be in Vegas having a good time. Too bad I already miss you.

-

mkp.

Bright, just like the stars above me.

Spring break started on Thursday, and I celebrated this by choosing not to go to school. However, it wasn't entirely fun, as I had hoped. I chose to reveal some aspects of my past to both my dad and sister the day before. Of course, that decision was made during the spur of the moment, during an explosion, an argument deemed completely impossible to escape. It just happened. And now they know.

But this weekend was kind of what I needed, as it allowed me to spend some time with my cousin. She spent the past four days with us, and helped clear some of the tension between me and my family. I love my cousin. We are very close, and she's one of my best friends. She's always been capable of figuring me out, even when I couldn't do so. And this week, she really opened up my eyes to how I really feel. It had been a while since we really spoke, and so one night, when my sister was asleep, we did. She did her thing, and she told me that she hadn't seen me this happy and this certain of anything in a long while.

I'm at a really good place in my life right now. I'm at a place where I feel I'm not really hiding anything from anyone; where I'm not really afraid; where I tend to move with life, instead of choosing to dwell on the past. I'm at a place where I feel sure, and secure, and so fucking happy. And part of the reasoning behind my current attitude deals with this whole situation and position that I'm in. But instead of running away, I've embraced it. Something's telling me that this is all worth it.




mkp.

Dry.

This is a book I turn to whenever I feel like this. "DRY" by Augusten Burroughs. Not only is it a great read, but it is also a source of hope when I begin to doubt myself.

Time and space don't really coexist for me right now. Nothing really feels real to me anymore. I'm just physically here, and emotionally unattached. Removed from reality. Almost like my mind has disjointed itself from my head. I feel separated from a lot of the people I thought cared for me. The people who had my back, and kept pushing me to go on. I've become more tolerable. Sure, that is a good thing, but sometimes being tolerable is relevant to being boring, and I used to never be boring. While my friends are all out getting wasted on weekends, I'm at home writing little entries like this.

Sometimes I really don't fucking like this self.


200 on Friday.




mkp.

Fools of April.

I love hanging out with Crystal.


([This is Crystal]
Marie is a meanie at times but she is way too cool for school).

FUCK CHEMISTRY.

=]