Spring break started on Thursday, and I celebrated this by choosing not to go to school. However, it wasn't entirely fun, as I had hoped. I chose to reveal some aspects of my past to both my dad and sister the day before. Of course, that decision was made during the spur of the moment, during an explosion, an argument deemed completely impossible to escape. It just happened. And now they know.
But this weekend was kind of what I needed, as it allowed me to spend some time with my cousin. She spent the past four days with us, and helped clear some of the tension between me and my family. I love my cousin. We are very close, and she's one of my best friends. She's always been capable of figuring me out, even when I couldn't do so. And this week, she really opened up my eyes to how I really feel. It had been a while since we really spoke, and so one night, when my sister was asleep, we did. She did her thing, and she told me that she hadn't seen me this happy and this certain of anything in a long while.
I'm at a really good place in my life right now. I'm at a place where I feel I'm not really hiding anything from anyone; where I'm not really afraid; where I tend to move with life, instead of choosing to dwell on the past. I'm at a place where I feel sure, and secure, and so fucking happy. And part of the reasoning behind my current attitude deals with this whole situation and position that I'm in. But instead of running away, I've embraced it. Something's telling me that this is all worth it.
mkp.
