Every morning, it's a clean up.

Finally.

Finally, it is Friday. The start to a much-needed weekend.

These past four days have been too much. My body has been so over-worked, that it is now throbbing in in a completely sore and painful state. My mind has been running through diagrams, thinking of methods and foolproof approaches to construct this thing, that my brain is now fried, and any type of contemplation just leads to anonymity and frustration. And last night I finally had the time to get a good night's sleep, but I still woke up with everything aching.

This 3-D design class is not a beginner's class, nor an introduction. If anything, it should be called "Labor-Intensive Extremity". And I have the battle scars to prove it, scattered all along my fingers, hands, arms. I look profoundly emo, as if those scars were self-inflicted. And when I am asked about them, I wonder how believable it is, when I have to respond with "I got injured while using a dull utility knife to cut through a sea of cardboard planes... Oh, but I got this one when I cut the wire, and it ended up slicing me. ...Oh and this one was from the steel ruler... This one from the shitty cardboard itself." Fuck.

Oh, and Best Friend... I owe a lot to you. Seriously, I'd be in a lot of fucking trouble, without all your help. Thank you, for realz.

So like I was saying, this weekend came at just about the right time. I feel like I've isolated myself within this project all week, that friends and loved ones have been put on hold. And I am sorry. But don't worry. Tomorrow, we will finally catch up!





mkp.

To the left, to the left.

My 3-D Beginners class is a disaster. Not only am I completely clueless as to what I'm doing, but I'm also ill-prepared during each meet. I still haven't found the time to re-train my brain into creating non-representational, actual, abstract objects that you can see and feel and touch. No illusions. This is where my many years of 2-dimensional training has perhaps conned me. I've probably never been more confused by a class in my entire life. This project... I don't know, I need some serious guidance with it.

Also someone has really hurt me, and I'm finding it much harder than I thought it would be to be their friend. But I'm not the girl who breaks her promises. And since I promised you that I'd be here for you through thick and thin, that's what I'm going to do.

But in spite of all this bullshit, there are still things to be very excited for.
- Today happens to be Elizabeth's birthday! Love you much.
- This weekend = Malibu, Getty, Medieval Times (yes).

- And Friday=

Yes. Rachelle fucking Amor.

I've missed my Candy Ass way too much, and we've been separated for far too long! A 3 hour drive to-and-from will surely be enough time to catch up with her.

- Oh, and Folk You. Kelsey and I have got something really special for you all. You should be very, very excited.




mkp.

Yellow Bird.

I'm not good, but I'm just okay.

Perhaps it was bad timing, or really just a disappearing act, but I can't and won't make her do something she just can't. Its the realizations that I stumbled into last night that really just summed it all up for me. That I don't regret any word said or action made, because they were real. And that no matter what will happen in the near future, I know in my heart that I really did have the best days of my life with her. Friend or lover, or whatever role she played, she taught me that I can trust myself; that its okay to have made mistakes before; that it is never too late. And there are no words that will express how I much I appreciate that. I love you and I always will.

And so now, I'll go from here.




mkp.

Hope that you'll hear me, know that I wrote to you.

-
Listen.

I really kind of just want to scream into a pillow right now. But I think I'll take another jab at writing and chain smoke instead.

I've probably written about 10 of these songs.




mkp.

-------

I remember here.
But I don't remember it being anything like this.


You are the sun gone down, you are the sky
You are the moon rushed round
You are goodbye.





mkp.