I'll be alone in my bed tonight. But I already know that I won't sleep. I'll just be thinking about last night/this morning.
I was blatantly upset coming home from class yesterday. I couldn't keep my mind's wandering down to a minimum, and coincidentally, all I wanted to do was burn that old journal of yours that you gave to me, and throw everything else that held any memory of you in a box, so I wouldn't have to see it again. I was planning on taking 22 (mini) shots of tequila in honor of the stupid day, when I get a call from someone. So, instead of drinking my problems away and passing out from intoxication, I drove us to the opening of the CSUN student art show. We really tried not to feel bitter about not making it into the show. When it came to an end, we smoked our smokes and tried to outrun the pitter-patter of the drizzling rain to the safety of my car. The night was still young, but everyone seemed to be out or busy, and there was absolutely nothing to do. We ended up just talking in my car. For four hours. I haven't even known her for a year, but I've never had a similar relationship with anyone. Needless to say, we have an... interesting friendship. And other than the fact that we have so much in common, and we practically finish each other's sentences, she knows and understands me on so many levels. I never feel ashamed or embarrassed to approach her. I know she'll never judge me. But for the past week or so, we were both a little distant with each other. We both had to deal with shit, that we seemed just so sick of everything. But last night, we ended up closer than we have ever been. It started when we were first reminiscing back to our first memories of how we met. We talked about how quickly we learned to trust one another and how we both never felt that way with anyone else before. We talked about our friendship and how much it meant to us. She ended sleeping over, and for the first time in months, my bed was warm again. Maybe it was because we slept so much closer, both literally and emotionally. In the morning, our fingers were still slightly laced together, and I stayed like that for a little longer because I wanted to hold her hand. As she was getting ready to leave, I told her I loved her, and I don't even know by which way I meant it. I just do. There are so many types of love, and sometimes it's difficult to distinguish one from the other. And I have a love for her. I asked her if I could kiss her goodbye. It was short, but sweet and sincere... intimate. When she left, my heart sank a little, and I only wished she had stayed longer.
mkp.
