Last week was a bit of a blur. While my friend's long distance relationship completely fell into pieces, I unknowingly allowed all of my insecurities walk all over me. I have always been an over-thinker, but I became so insecure in the span of a day or two, that even when Jarrett would do all he could to make me feel better, I would keep bringing up negative points or potential problems we could possibly encounter somewhere down the road. Eventually, there was a point where we both didn't know what we wanted to do anymore. We were both busy for the week, so we couldn't even talk it through and reassure each other that it would all be alright. But when I finally got to see him on Sunday, those insecurities seemed to have eradicated. I wasn't sad or doubtful anymore, I was just so happy to see him and spend time with him again. How fickle-minded I was for comparing this relationship to those around me. Don't get me wrong, this relationship is fucking hard. It can get pretty fucking unbearable for the both of us. Time and distance are not very good friends of mine at all. But distance only really exists in my head. I am 8,000 miles away from him, but I feel closer to him now than ever before. I feel even more sure about introducing him to my family and having him with me for Christmas. I'm sure it won't be as pretty as his white Christmases in Nova Scotia, but I'm sure it will feel warmer.
My hands and arms are aching from painting and prepping canvases. My head throbbing from studying for my midterm, my eyes beginning to burn. I think I'm going to take a quick shower and go to sleep shortly. I can't wait to close my eyes and see him. Wake up to the morning sun and Jarrett's voice. Hopefully, I dream of the snow.
mkp.
