Intimacy.

Today, I was in the same vicinity as somebody that I used to know. She made no attempt to even acknowledge me, and proceeded on along with her day as if I didn’t exist and I meant nothing to her. I felt very hurt. I used to be one of the most important people to her, and now I’m just a memory in her head. But tonight when I came home to letters from you, I forgot why I was ever so sad. I guess it can be true sometimes, that people walk out on you, in order for new people to walk in. Anyway, despite that, the past few nights have been really wonderful.

I smiled all day thinking of you, and so many people noticed it too. I think I needed those two nights, last night especially, to remind myself of how lucky I am to have you in my life. I feel so very close to you. I didn't even really feel the distance today, except for when I wanted to desperately kiss you. But I felt you last night. I felt that I not only kissed you, but I made love to you, and slept with you until you woke for work. It was intimate... I felt your warmth and you skin and your hands, and it was only when I looked over to the empty side of the bed when I remembered that there is distance. But still with the 4,000 miles, I feel your presence. Like you are next to me. Like you are caressing my thigh. Like you will fall asleep tonight with your head on my shoulder and our feet together. I wish I could be in your bed when you wake. I think it would be so sweet to see you first open your eyes to the morning light. How perfect it would be if I could say good morning to you, while you'd sleepily smile at me then, exposing your dimple sitting on your cheek. I would kiss your forehead gently and nudge it with my own. I would tell you then that I love you, and that I am glad I could spend the morning with you.

She's leaving and she's never coming back. And I think I finally don't care anymore.

mkp.