Today was kind of a shit day. School, exhaustion, heat, laughing/crying, breakdowns/breakthroughs, fighting, and more crying. I'm starting to feel a bit worn out already. But I also bring good news! I was able to snag a class, thank god. It's a Saturday one though, and it's Philosophy.
Earlier this evening, I started a few rough sketches for my first project in ART 429: Contemporary Painting. This class is essential to students who eventually want to show in galleries, as it will help you develop a consistent body of work. The first project is to paint 5 paintings, of any size and any medium (they MUST be complete by the due date, though), ready to submit in three or four weeks. An element from the first painting should be reintroduced in the second, and an element from the second should be reintroduced in the third, and so on. So naturally, I wanted to paint all self portraits (or variations), hoping I could pass them up with a generalized theme or idea. But bullshitting isn't all that easy. I couldn't fake it. I paint things that I remember, and experience, and feel. So what exactly is the part of me that can't explain all these things to people who are looking at my art? These things happened to me. Some of these things are happening right now. Can't you see it? Either I make my art vague, and explain the meanings and symbolism to people when asked, or I make them specific. So specific, there will be no further questions. But I'm really afraid of looking vulnerable. I can't stand it, knowing that everyone's looking at me or pitying me, or whatever. Either way, I am still putting myself on the line, and I'm not exactly too comfortable with it.
mkp.
