{Enjoying the sun and the gentle, crashing waves in Ventura Beach}
Let's face it: I don't write in here as often as I would like. It's just been a little difficult for me to write, even though I have so much to say. Call it writer's block, if you wish. But I don't even think that would be the proper term. Busy? Distracted, perhaps? A lot has happened. A lot of bad things, but a lot more good. There was a huge blow between my mother and I on Saturday, resulting in a dreaded (but probably needed) "family meeting" on Sunday, which allowed us to address some things that have been put-off for too long. I'm really wishing for the best between her and I. She has a lot of accepting to do, and I need to grow up a little bit. All things considered, I think maybe she and I can actually have a relationship once we work on our issues.
{My beautiful baby cousin/sister/best friend and I being goofs}
Every summer, I spend countless days at Elizabeth's, eating junk food, watching films, talking all night long, falling asleep past 4 a.m., and waking up to a bountiful breakfast. She is my best friend. This year, we won't be spending so much time together. While we had a week together for my cousin's wedding back in June, we still hadn't had much time for just the two of us. I shouldn't complain though. She is indeed, growing up. I met her British boyfriend before he left for home. And now, she's in the East Coast for a month.
{A preview of some of the artwork for J.'s mixed cd}
I've been on a cd-making frenzy lately. The one I made for my dad turned out to be a success and he plays it all the damn time. During the car-ride to the beach, he sang along to the words to every song, while I just smiled like a fool. I made a new one for Elizabeth, too. But this one that I'm making for J. is pretty time-consuming. Not only am I making a custom cd-holder, artwork, and booklets (I have issues), it's going to be a double cd. I've spent hours trying to get it to flow just right and I think it's finally coming together. Come Wednesday, it will be sent all the way to Nova Scotia.
{Silky, smooth sweetness just for me}
Since I mentioned J., it would only be fitting if I explained this. J. is 25 years old; J. is from Canada; J. has an adorable black lab named Magnum, and a morbidly obese orange cat named Gustav the Destroyer; J. plays and sings me covers of my favorite songs, then begs me to delete them (I never do); J. wears glasses and is a music-nerd, with a soft spot for westerns, cake, and tattoos; J. always makes me smile like an idiot, and fills my heart with warmth and silliness; J. is also a male. I don't really think that's a big deal. I can't help who I'm attracted to. But the last time I liked a guy was back in 2009, so it feels so new to me again. This may just be nothing. But what if it's not, and it turns into something more? I don't know. I'm just going to enjoy it.
{Across the Sea - Weezer}
And now every time I listen to this song, I can't help but think of J. I talk to him for hours, and the second we say goodbye, I miss him like crazy. We're not really across the sea from each other. But we're still so damn far. Way too damn far. Now I sleep hugging my pillow, wishing the distance could just disappear for a second. I never thought a Weezer song could make me so fucking emotional.
mkp.
