Heart in a Cage.

There is a yellow bird that sings in my heart, a quiet tune that keeps me safe at night. She makes me believe that one day, I'll be alright, and everything will work out just fine. All this at home will eventually become a distant memory. But she is not free any more than I am; Not even to the confinements of the sky, but to the cages built by my bones. She is trapped inside of me. She is begging to be freed. Sometimes, I don't even hear her singing, I hear her crying. She's dying. But I would let her go. I could. I could give her the freedom she needs, but I don't. Because I'm afraid of the unknown, and I don't know what happens next in the story. I don't know if there is happy ending. And it fucking scares me, so I dare not let her go. I need her here with me. She is as reassuring as the first beams of light that come in the morning. I wake up, and I know that it's always a new beginning, no matter how bad it was last night. But she is flawed if she's not free. I hold this key, and I wear it around my neck. I gave it once or twice to people who I thought would, but never quite could, open it. I keep telling myself that maybe one day, someone will help me, because I don't even know how to begin with it. But now I'm screaming for my own freedom.

My bones are shaking off the make-up I have to wear to hide the bruises nestled on my face. My heart is pumping away the heavy fear snapping my veins shut. This pain in my chest won't cage me in anymore, because I've decided that maybe I am strong enough to do this, for once. And now, I'm sweating my fears away as if it were a fever. I'll look in the mirror tonight, and I'll tell myself that I'm finally setting me free.

mkp.