I don't really know what Bon Iver's inspiration was when he wrote this song. But I've taken a liking to it (particularly Birdy's cover) because it almost makes complete sense to me in some sort of way. I feel like it's a conversation I am constantly having with myself. Every accusation is one I've made towards me. Because in the end, it is I who was at fault. I did this to myself. And even though that sounds completely and utterly insane, I feel sane when I listen to it.
My mind keeps trailing off to memories I want to forget. I'm constantly being reminded of what a terrible person I am for what I did to you. I keep hearing myself apologize to you. "I'm so sorry..." just keeps looping on in my head. I spend too many sleepless nights lying awake, thinking of that morning. When I was with you, but it was a "different kind". Now that I've already cut my ropes, I sometimes wish that I held on just a little bit longer. It was so short-lived. Well, we were never really there, or anywhere, to say the least. But maybe we could've gone somewhere, I don't know. But it's far too late. You're going, going, gone. I won't stop you. Not for me, or for whatever we had for that one second. You have places to go and I'm just here.
Anyway, I'll be 20 years old in three days. I really don't know how I feel, to be honest.
mkp.
