I fool myself into believing that its all over and everything's done with. But all it took were a few short seconds, and suddenly, there I was, within your grasp again. And for that night, you were mine. I could say, "I love you", and I wouldn't feel awkward about it. I mean, you said it right back. I won't say I didn't enjoy it. It felt safe, and familiar, and sweet. And it still feels real to me, so much so, that I felt it chilling down my spine. Truth be told, I miss it. I can't help but want to hold your hand when we are driving in your car, or hug your limp body when you're crying, or even place my cold feet between yours in your warm bed. But you are not mine to love anymore. I'm so torn.
I thank you for your honesty. It feels good to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. It feels good to know that I'm still loved and wanted and adored by you. But for the time being, I guess I will pretend this didn't happen. I will continue just being your friend. And maybe when you start working, you'll forget all about me and move on. Or, maybe not. We'll see.
mkp.
