we're silenced.
days ago, we could speak.
there never was a worry that came with what i said.
remember when we could just sit around after we smoked our smokes to talk?
communication's been reduced down to text.
sometimes the words are repetitive, sometimes never making sense.
this time, its different.
amid all the "sorry"'s and "i miss you"'s there is a harsher tone.
though i can't hear it, i know you're angry.
and i should say its my fault, should say "forgive me".
but i just can't take all the blame for this.
filled with guilt, guilty of fear,
i was stupid enough to wait for you,
hoping you would make an atempt to fix this,
to explain why things are so different now, so silent now.
now, at the time when i need you the most, i cannot bring myself to speak.
call me ruthless, call me lazy, for i will not speak to correct you.
while i'm accused for lethargy, i'll pretend not to care.
so i'll wear this disguise, put on a plastic smile
but impatiently i'll hope for it to crack,
that it may expose fractions of something real.
that my lips will learn to release words that correspond to what i feel.
i try to form words, i open my mouth in hopes they escape,
but nothing escapes me but a hot breath.
i'm silenced.
i'm sorry.
-mkp
