I tried sleeping on it. But I didn't really sleep. I thought about it all night.
And I realized that all those choices don't work for me. Sure, they could make sense, but not at all in their relevance to this ordeal. Actually, I hardly even think they relate at all. I think of where I was, and where I am now. Where you were, and where you are now. And how we were, how we are, and how we'll be. Last night, I didn't know what the right thing was to do. I knew what I wanted, but was I really ready for it? But now I know. I'm in a truly vulnerable state and I feel fucking scared. But at the same time, I've learned that the only way to get anywhere is to move along. So fuck those options. My gut is telling me to do something entirely different. And I don't know if you'd necessarily think it's right, but I feel that it is.
I feel it in my bones.
mkp.
